i'm dreaming of a white christmas.

My phone rings. I don't answer because I have not been so comfortable and relaxed in a long time. I know it's Jess calling to guilt trip me into going out with her yet again.

It rings a second time, and knowing how persistent she is, I decide to go ahead and answer.

"'ello"

"Hey. What's goin' on?"

"Nothing much. Covered up on my couch watching White Christmas"

"What?"

"Uh, I'm watching a movie while laying on my couch covered by a blanket. Is there anything else you don't understand?"

"White Christmas, huh. Never heard of it."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. Is it a new movie?"

"Hardly. But, I can't believe you don't know it. It's a holiday musical starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney. Hell, you love her nephew George ... and they hail from Kentucky. Is it still not ringing any bells?"

"No. But, I don't like musicals."

"Well I know you know the song, White Christmas. It was actually first featured in the movie Holiday Inn, which came out 12 years before White Christmas the movie."

*silence*

I then broke into song, doing my best to capture Bing's holiday classic (I didn't hear any dogs howling so it must not have been too bad)

"Yeah, I know that song. Never knew it was a movie."

*heavy sigh*

I decide not to venture out with her, choosing to remain on my couch happy and relaxed. I eventually fell asleep with Irving Berlin's melodies dancing through my head.

I must seem like an alien to some of my friends. But, I can't help it if they have no taste for the pleasantries of old movies and simpler times.

I'm hosting our holiday work party at my apartment next Sunday evening. Little do they know I plan to torture them with Christmas movies and music galore. Although, the eggnog will most likely be spiked making the torture not quite as painful...

the blog readability test...

.... can KISS my ass!! ;)

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the calm after the storm.

This past weekend was supposed to be relaxing. I had Thursday through Sunday off from work - my last bit of peace before the madness of the holiday season begins.

Unfortunately peace was nowhere to be found. My grandmother has been in the hospital since Friday, and I had to play host to several family members, including a very adorable but hyperactive 2 yr. old (Excellent birth control I might add...)

I love my family and I'm glad we are able to come together when the chips are down. Even so, I will never understand how they always manage to create stress and chaos. Perhaps this is the purpose of the family unit - to keep us on our toes.

Of course, the weekend was not a complete waste! I now know how to jump start a car and also mastered the technique of blowing up air mattresses with a hair dryer (I don't particularly recommend this method ... it caused some sparkage and I blew a fuse which turned the refrigerator off, a fact that was not discovered til the morning after. Oooppps!)

Thankfully, my grandmother is going to be o.k. and will hopefully be going home tomorrow. I am also thankful that most of my family will be leaving this afternoon ;)

She had a heart transplant 10 years ago, and while her new heart is still in tip-top shape, other areas of her health are beginning to falter. She is my last living grandparent, and I can't imagine not having her in my life. Most importantly, she is the glue that holds my crazy family together, and I'm worried that when she is gone we will become disconnected...

At least I get to spend some more quality time with 'em this Thursday. Yay! ... a day filled with screaming kids and a feast to spoil my regime of healthy eating. Oh well.

My poor apartment is now peaceful but in a state of disarray. I decided to take my final sick day today, giving myself a moment to breath and straighten up.

It looks as though my date with R&R will have to wait 'til after Christmas.

under the harvest moon.

Before this night owl heads to the comfort of her bed, I am reminded of my favorite poem which is much appropriate for the season. Although, according to Wikipedia the real harvest moon made it's appearance back in September. Oh well...


UNDER the harvest moon,
When the soft silver
Drips shimmering
Over the garden nights,
Death, the gray mocker,
Comes and whispers to you
As a beautiful friend
Who remembers.

Under the summer roses
When the flagrant crimson
Lurks in the duskOf the wild red leaves,
Love, with little hands,
Comes and touches you
With a thousand memories,
And asks youBeautiful,
unanswerable questions.

Carl Sandburg 1878-1967

*sigh*

I love it.

the little things.

I was driving home from work this afternoon, thankful for the light drizzle that proceeded a downpour minutes before heading to my car. There are a handful of routes I can take to my apartment, but I typically choose the one that avoids the traffic plagued main roads.

It was during this drive that I realized the leaves had finally changed. I've always loved fall in Kentucky, and I'm sure the trees have been showcasing their metamorphosis for weeks. But, life has been so hectic lately that I hadn't noticed.

Now, while driving through an older neighborhood full of large elms and maples, it was hard to miss the brilliant reds, yellows, and oranges gently blowing out of the trees and onto the wet roads. Even on this nasty, rainy day, my drive home was pleasant and peaceful.

I seem to be missing a lot of the little things lately. I went through some unhappy times this past winter, and the spring and summer brought little relief to my aching heart. I'm thankful to admit I'm a much happier girl than a few months ago. Life has become fun, and the loneliness that was a constant friend was replaced by time spent with family, friends, and some interesting new faces. That's not to say things are crystal clear, but I'm at peace with not having all the answers.

I'm glad things are looking up, but I also want things to calm down.

I need to make more "me" time, not to mention allowing myself a good cry ... it's been awhile.

Besides, I'm getting ready to head into the busiest season for us retail slaves, and this gloomy weather invites me to curl up with my cat, a glass of wine, and a book that's begging to be finished.

warm and cozy.

UK beat Vanderbilt today! GOOOOO CATS CATS CATS!!!!!

I would have made the trip down to Nashville with my family to watch 'em play, but it was a last minute decision on their part, and I unfortunately had to work.

I am now curled up on my couch typing on the laptop I stole from my brother. Well, I didn't exactly steal it. He's letting me borrow it for a week or two, which is no great loss to him considering there are 3 other computers at his discretion. I'm trying to decide if a laptop is something I would want/actually use. Better yet, do I want to spend my hard earned money on another piece of technology that may end up biting me in the ass? (It's common knowledge that computers hate me)

Plus, I am very much used to sitting upright in a fairly cozy desk chair, and I don't know how much I would actually venture away from my comfort zone.

Although, I must admit this is pretty cozy :)

Aside from typing my thoughts away, I'm also fixated on ESPN. Florida is playing South Carolina, and I'm frustrated cuz as much as I dislike Steve Spurrier, I am forced to root for the Gamecocks. I'm not a fan of either team, but if I want my precious Wildcats to have a chance at the SEC championship (I know, I know. It's unlikely, but definitely not impossible) I have to hope for a Florida upset.

It's currently in the 2nd quarter with the Gators up 27-14 :(

Things are not looking good for South Carolina or Kentucky.

________________________________________________

Update:

Florida ended up STOMPING South Carolina. The fans were leaving long before it was over. Poor Steve Spurrier! haha.

There are still several games left to played over the next few weeks, but I'm really doubting that Kentucky is gonna make the sec championship game. We're still bowl eligible, which is excitement enough for us UK football fans.

I only have one thing to say....

Bring back Tubby!

And I'm not just saying that cuz the Cats lost to a team I have never even heard of last night. I am a true blue fan and still have much hope for the season. It was just one game.

I know most fans are happy that Billy Gillispie is the new head coach of Kentucky, and they would probably blame last night's loss on Tubby's previous recruits. Regardless, I am not impressed with Billy G.

Something is rotten in the state of Kentucky, and UK basketball just doesn't feel the same.

I was major pumped up a few weeks back while attending Midnight Madness, which is an annual tradition in the Blugrass State. It's the fan's opportunity to see the Cats in action for the first time, and it's usually a sold out crowd.

As they introduced the players the fans clapped and cheered. It felt like Midnight Madness has always felt, and there stirred within me the usual sense of exhilaration and pride. Then, in the center of Rupp Arena, Kentucky's very own sports temple, Billy Gillispie made his debut.

The crowd erupted into cheers, including myself. I screamed and chanted "Billy" like a lunatic, until I slowly found myself having flashbacks of a man called Tubby Smith. I kid you not, tears welled up in my eyes. I did not want Billy to be standing in Rupp, wearing blue and white. I wanted Tubby back.

It would not be the first time UK sports has brought tears to my eyes. I came out of my mother's wound bleeding blue, and I have weeped like a baby over the years as the Cats experienced both great wins and losses.

Now, as this new chapter in Kentucky basketball begins, I feel sad (over the loss of an incredibly talented coach and kind man) and nervous as a stranger steps onto the court. For the moment, I'm going to avoid touching on the rumors afloat regarding Billy's obnoxious/cocky attitude and evident drinking problem. I will say that he has done a kick-ass job at recruiting, which was certainly Smith's weakness. But, Smith is gone and we can't blame everything on a man who is outta the picture. I can only hope that we will see success on the court.

Things have hit rock bottom at Kentucky, but Gillispie will dig them out. It's just one game, but this is a different animal than turning things around at Texas A&M. He was a hero because there were no expectations in College Station.

In Lexington, the expectations are to win national championships.

Gillispie needs to realize that he can't march in here acting like a basketball god. You have to earn that title 'round here, and he's gotta tough crowd to prove himself to.

say cheese!

I know it's a bit late to be posting about Halloween, but I'm irritated at something I discovered today.

I went to a party last week. I was in costume ... a sexy school girl with a Harry Potter twist. I paid too much for the damn thing, but it was fun. I even had white knee highs and pigtails w/ white ribbons. It was rather reminiscent of my Catholic school girl days, although I don't recall toting a magic wand ;)

I knew most of the people at the party, but there were some fresh faces. As I mingled, there was a zombie couple lurking about and they seemed to be everywhere I turned. They were taking tons of pictures of the party goers, including me. At the time I did not find this bothersome, and I simply tried to ignore them.

Now, to make a long story short, there are currently pictures of ME on this couple's myspace profile. There were a couple of group shots, but most were single shots of me dancing, drinking, and playing pool. Plus, my costume was a bit scandalous and I made the decision to NOT post pics on my own myspace.

Maybe I would feel differently if they were my friends, or if I had even spoken to them during the evening. I really want to send them a message and ask that they remove the pictures. But, I feel awkward and I don't want to offend anyone. I'm probably overreacting especially since I was the one who decided to "whore it up" for Halloween.

I guess I've learned a lesson, and I'm just gonna hope my dad doesn't see pics of me dirty dancing with Count Dracula and a Ghost Buster (proton pack and all) ....

costume photo courtesy of HalloweenExpress.com (cuz that's my costume, but it ain't me haha)

call me elf.

I officially busted out the Christmas music today.

It might be sunny and 60 here in Kentucky, but inside my car it's a white Christmas with sleigh bells ringin'!!!

The store I work in is full of Christmas merchandise (and has been since the beginning of August) My co-workers are very irritated at the sea of reds, greens, and sparkles that have taken over a better part of the store. Although, I think they are even more irritated at how much I LOVE IT!!

I even volunteered to climb the tallest ladder ever created to set up a holiday vignette on the tops of the cabinets. There were many "squeees" of joy from me when my creation was complete, which of course earned an eye roll or two.

Screw em'! I even put my mild OCD to use while placing snowflake window clings on the doors and windows. It's a freakin' winter wonderland (at least on the inside) and Halloween was less than a week ago.

Now, if it would only really snow...

restroom etiquette

I know I'm not a dude, but I still found this extremely humorous.

zombie love.

I think most women (and even men) have a sort of "type" of person they are typically attracted to. Sure, it's always possible to wander outside of one's comfort zone, but I'd say most people in my life are very predictable when it comes to attraction.

Myself, on the other hand am all over the charts.

Take Rob Zombie for example.

I simply LOVE this man. Aside from the fact that he is incredibly intelligent and well spoken, I also find him just plain sexy. Most of my friends would laugh out loud at me for saying so, considering that I'm sort of a plain jane, t-shirt and jeans kinda girl. I don't have any tattoos or crazy piercings, and I don't have a lot of hard core metal/rock in my music collection.

Still, I am intrigued.

Perhaps my attraction lies in my love of the horror genre, something he is well known for. His first film "House of 1000 Corpses" was well made, and the follow up "The Devil's Rejects" was a perfect mixture of insanity, gore, and humor (not to mention a kick-ass soundtrack that is on my x-mas wish list).

Movie reviews aside ... I guess I just surprise myself sometimes in regards to the members of the opposite sex that I am drawn to. If you stood all the guys in a row I have wanted from the past 10 years (in real life, not fantasy/celebrities), they are all completely different looking and all have very different personalities.

I'd probably never find love at match.com or e-harmony. I'd end matching to only one type of guy ... and that's just no fun!!

So yeah... This was pointless. Just an excuse to see Rob Zombie on my blog every time I log in ;)

Stay.

Wow. Great song.

This was me 5 years ago.

Walking away was the hardest thing I ever did, but my heart thanks me everyday.

honestly!!

I have made plenty of mistakes so far in life, especially recently.

But, do my past indiscretions make me less credible to lend advice to a faltering friend?

I find it funny that during the summer when I hit some rough patches (a.k.a. big ass mistakes) my friends encouraged and sometimes forced me to cry on their shoulders. But, now my confidants enjoy throwing those mistakes back in my face, and often times leave me out of moral decision making discussions.

I have cheated on a significant other in the past, and have also been the other woman. While I regret those situations tremendously, they were learning and growing experiences.

I now have a very dear friend who has become involved with a married woman. It has become the hot topic of conversation lately, and I've been trying to stay out of it.

Today, he asked for my honest opinion toward his actions, and honesty is exactly what I delivered.

I told him that being a home wrecker is nothing to be proud of.

His response was that I probably wasn't the best person to be giving advice on infidelity.

Geeez! I may be flawed, but I still know the difference between right and wrong. I want nothing more than to be there for my friends and have always loved them unconditionally. But, I think friendship should also include healthy doses of honesty.

My friends are going to have to start forgiving me for past, present, and future fuck-ups, understand that I bring wisdom and perspective from my experiences, and trust that my honesty comes from love.

If not, I will have to start keeping all my juicy mistakes to myself!