trick or treat.

Halloween is right around the corner, which means it's time to prep. for J.'s annual Halloween bash. Last year was a helluva throw down, and I spent most of the following day half alive in a hangover induced coma. While I am not planning on partying 'til I puke this year, there is still much fun to be had. What happens at J.'s, stays at J.'s!!

Here are a couple of shots from last year. Most of my pics are too scandalous to post (lots of blackmail worthy candids of many of you... so be nice to me or else! haha)

I was a sexy school girl with a harry potter twist.... I'm still clueless as to what I'll do this time around.





I don't really don't know what is going on here... ;)

Ummm, yeah. No comment on this one.

Anyone have any ideas on what I should do this year??

spidey love. ha!

I don't really know what to say about these pictures. It's weird... perhaps a bit creepy, especially for someone who is typically terrified of spiders. But, I have certainly become quite the spidey fanatic. Ok, I wouldn't say fanatic... it's just that instead of knocking it down with a broom, and splatterin' his (or her) guts on my patio, I have decided to live harmoniously with my 8 legged neighbor.

And... yesterday, when Ike's gusts threatened to blow the apartment windows in (I'm surprised my patio chairs did not end up in the pond) I thought he was gone for good. Then, as the gusts turned to a breeze, he reappeared, focused on making another magnificent web.




I promise I did take pictures of other things, such as the pond, ducks, kids feeding the ducks, dogs chasing the ducks, and a lady bug that landed on my toe. Tonight, however, I am only inspired to share the spider shots.

Sweet dreams everyone!! ;)

itsy bitsy spider my ass!

So, I must be bored, because I have spent the past 30 min. researching spiders in Kentucky. The two who made my acquaintance today on the patio were very large and very scary. If I am to continue to frequent such visitors, I would like to know who they are, or more importantly, will I die if they bite me.

Unfortunately, I can't say without a shadow of a doubt what kind they were, as none of the pictures on UK's critter files website match their description.

I have now stared at enough spiders to sleep knee deep in nightmares for the rest of the weekend. Hell, I might as well go rent Arachnophobia and make a night of it... or not.

remember to shift yer rear.

Ughhh. My blogger site is so messed up... which makes typing this a little difficult. It was like this several days ago when I logged in, and I was hoping it was a glitch and would be better the next time around. I was wrong. Still, I am back, and rather proud of myself as it has only been 5 days as opposed to 3 months! *pats self on back*

Today was a lazy day, filled with laundry, naps, and killing spiders on the patio. Seriously, I love the view from the patio, and much prefer a pond over a parking lot. But, if we are not careful, the creepy crawlies like to set up residence.

Aside from being lazy, I've been in a rather shitty mood. I've not been depressed lately, and I know from experience how that feels. But, anxiety has become a daily battle.

I hate my job, and now that I have been promoted I can't walk away from the money. (Back in July I finally got my own store). For the first time in my life I am not living paycheck to paycheck (knock on wood), which used to be a constant thorn in my side.

Even with the new pay flow and other happy happenings in my life, I awake every morning with an achy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I miss my old store and my old friends. I feel like the odd man out, which I suppose is for the best. I have taken on the role of "boss" fairly well, maintaining a distance that I am not used to. I never realized how much work it was going to be... how much was going to be on my shoulders.

(J... if you happen to read this, know how lucky you are! You have a staff of people who care about you and know exactly what is expected of them. You can leave for a month, and they would hold down the fort. My store would probably burn to the ground if I left them for more than a weekend)

Regardless, even with my growing anxiety and apprehension, I am giving it one year of my life. There is a chance (fingers crossed) that once I completely adjust it might become enjoyable again. Change has never been easy for me, but I'm not one to walk out on something I care about.

"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place" - Washington Irving.

going to the chapel.

I am currently trying to drown out the incessant quacking coming from beneath my window. The new place is next to a picturesque duck pond, and occasionally a mob of feathered friends make their way to sleep beside the patio. I only wish they would lose the need to serenade each other before retiring.

Anyways, before heading to slumber, I am making myself sit down for a long overdue post. It's been forever (again..) but what can I say other than I have been a very busy girl.

There are more updates than I have time to share, but I suppose the most important (and somewhat shocking news... as I am still a bit in shock myself), is that I am sportin' a shiny diamond ring on my left hand. Yes folks, I am officially engaged to be married. I have held off on sharing the news here and on the other sites I call home, my only explanation being fear...

I keep thinking the rug is going to be swept out from under my feet... it's hard to accept that I deserve to be this happy. I keep thinking he's going to change his mind and realize how unworthy I am. It would be a shame to scream at the top of my lungs that I am going to be Mr. Him... and then have to take it all back.

Still, everyday I wake up, and he is here loving me just as I am... a silly girl, with more hang-ups, quirks, and fuck-ups than any man should have to put up with. Of course, he isn't perfect, and I wouldn't want it any other way. He never gave up on me, and by the grace of something bigger than the both of us, we found our way back home. Sappy? Yes. Do I care? No. :)

He's out of town for a couple of weeks. I am going a little crazy without him. I forgot how much I hate to sleep alone. Lucy on the other hand loves it, and is currently stretched out on his pillow, happy to have a whole side of the bed to herself. She pricked her paw earlier with my Obama '08 button (it's a good thing cats can't vote, cuz he may have lost one there) hehe... i know, i'm a dork.

This is where I begin to ramble, so instead I will say g'nite and return very soon to share more ground breaking news in the life of c. lou.

buenas noches.

wishful thinkin'

I visited a friend this evening who lives about an hour away. On the drive home, I really started itching for a road trip. Yeah, the whole idea of a vacation sounds appealing, especially since my recent vacation consisted of packing, cleaning, painting, and the grand finale of moving.

But, I sometimes find the drive there to be just as much fun as the destination. At this point, I could care less where I end up. I'd be perfectly content to be cruisin' down some road or another, with the setting sun, windows rolled down, my fav. tunes playin', and good company by my side...

i kissed a girl

... and I liked it :)

Yeah, it's been forever again. Kiss it!!! Life has been crazy, scary, happy, and fabulous. I have much to say, but am not in the mood to be in front of the computer. Still... for those of you who've been complaining that whenever you stop by, there is nuttin' new to see, I thought it was time for a post.

This one is dedicated to Andrea (and Nick who sent me the link to this song, cuz it so fondly reminded him of something...) *winks* Remember, my birthday is right around the corner!! HA!

I give you, Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl"

to all u mom's out there...

Happy Mother's Day!

I don't know where I would be without mine.

tell me lies.

Checked my e-mail before heading to work this morning ... dad has sent me the link to this video. I've actually seen it posted several other places the past year. Let's make it one more.

my new baby.

Ok, so it's not an actual baby. But, it is my new ipod touch and ... I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!!!!

Seriously folks, it's pretty freakin' cool. And yeah, it would have been nice to just get an iphone and be done with it, but the phone is a couple hundred dollars more expensive, and the Internet fees and whatnot are more than I can afford right now.

The ipod touch comes equip with everything the iphone has (including Internet connection) only without any monthly fees. I can get online anywhere there is a wi-fi connection. Sweet!

It's extremely user friendly and has more than enough space for the things I want. I've already loaded 300 songs and over 100 pictures and have not even used up 2 G yet (mine is an 8 G total).

Ok. I'm done. My apologies for the excessive rambling and bragging. I've just fallen in love with the little thing and am sooo happy to have an mp3 player again (I hope the person who stole my pink Zen Micro is choking on it as I type this!)

boo!

My blog layout is still a snow scene? ... wow, it really has been awhile since I've been on here.

It's been about 6 weeks, and there is no way for me to thoroughly update without a ridiculously long post. But, I'll at least highlight some of the random/fun things that have happened over past few weeks.

* I put in a 2 month notice to my apartments that I will not be renewing my lease this summer. The notice does not go into effect til May 1st. Apartment hunting will begin shortly, and as of now I will be keeping Steven as my roommate... *grins*

*Drove 6 hours to Cleveland... did not find Drew Carey, but did run into an angry blizzard who caused me to get lost in the great lake city for 2 hours. The street signs were ALL covered in snow, so the few people who told me to turn right on Euclid were not much help. Thanks anyways! I managed to find my hotel by midnight.

* My mp3 player (which to those who know me well, it was like a second child), my CD player/radio, and numerous Cd's were stolen from my car. I cussed and cried, but I'm the idiot who left my door unlocked. I am now driving 'round town in silence, singing and talking to myself.

* I saw Celtic Women in concert at the Louisville Palace Theater. It was amazing!!!! Plus, if you have never been to the Louisville Palace, you don't know what you are missing. It is absolutely beautiful, and could easily upstage any act gracing it's stage.

*Jay may have convinced me to play softball (which is crazy considering the only sports I have ever been good at were basketball and volleyball ... and that was years ago).

* I may be going to California this summer with Miss A! She is considering going to graduate school out west, so we thought we'd make a vacation out of it. If that falls through, we are still going to head up to Chicago and take the town by storm! It doesn't compare to California, but we may not be able to afford plane tickets. Either way, there is fun to be had!

I'll stop there. My head is buzzing with all the little comings and goings of life recently, not all of them being blogworthy. I suppose it was somewhat of a half-assed update, but at least gives evidence to my still being alive and well ;) Hopefully, I will be on more, giving my blog the love it deserves (which probably means gettin' rid of the snowy background).

so sue me...

I am officially the biggest dork in the world.

Yes folks, it is rumored (and has been for a couple of weeks now) that The New Kids on the Block are reuniting.

My reaction: Hell yeah!!!

My very first concert was NKOTB, and I wouldn't doubt if my dad suffers from hearing loss after that fun-filled night 19 yrs ago. I made a sign that proclaimed, "I love Donnie 4-ever," and screamed so loud that my voice was but a whisper for several days. I also pouted on the ride home, pissed because they were sold out of Donnie t-shirts so I had to settle for Jordan. The injustice!!!

Anyways, I'm very aware that their music was silly bubble gum confection, and I doubt that anything they release now is gonna blow people away and land them on next year's Grammy's.

Still, I'm looking forward to seeing the fab-five from Boston make an appearance again.

Until then, here's a little walk down memory lane ... there were thousands of videos on youtube to choose from, but this was always one of my favs. Plus, Donnie is shirtless and when I was 9, well that was like watching porn ;)

Warning: A hazardous amount of 80's hair, shiny sequins, silk shirts, top-notch dancing, and some heart stopping pelvis thrusts @ 2:32.

lazy sunday.

I normally find these quizzes silly.

Who cares? It's a lazy Sunday and I can do what I want ;)



"Your exact moment of the day is always changing, because the sun never sets at exactly the same time. You are the romantic moments just after sunset when it's still light enough to see your way around outside, and the sky is a blend of reds, pinks, purples, and blues. At this time of day, the light has a special way of making even rundown buildings looks like works of art. You're like that, too – you're always finding beauty and magic in unexpected places. Not only will you wish on the first star you see, somewhere inside, you actually expect that wish to come true"

crumbling rock.

Compared to this time a year ago, I am in a much better place. I have higher self-esteem and am more comfortable in my skin (which may be due to losing weight?) Most importantly, I have learned to keep my emotions in check; I have become a rock of sorts, staying strong for my family and for myself.

Tonight, however, I feel like saying, "Fuck that!"

I am soooo tired of holding everything inside.

I have enjoyed becoming the comforter and the confidant. I keep my problems on the back burner so that my friends have the freedom to bring their burdens to me, without having to worry about my own fragile status.

But, the thing is... I am fragile.

I hate myself for that.