remember to shift yer rear.

Ughhh. My blogger site is so messed up... which makes typing this a little difficult. It was like this several days ago when I logged in, and I was hoping it was a glitch and would be better the next time around. I was wrong. Still, I am back, and rather proud of myself as it has only been 5 days as opposed to 3 months! *pats self on back*

Today was a lazy day, filled with laundry, naps, and killing spiders on the patio. Seriously, I love the view from the patio, and much prefer a pond over a parking lot. But, if we are not careful, the creepy crawlies like to set up residence.

Aside from being lazy, I've been in a rather shitty mood. I've not been depressed lately, and I know from experience how that feels. But, anxiety has become a daily battle.

I hate my job, and now that I have been promoted I can't walk away from the money. (Back in July I finally got my own store). For the first time in my life I am not living paycheck to paycheck (knock on wood), which used to be a constant thorn in my side.

Even with the new pay flow and other happy happenings in my life, I awake every morning with an achy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I miss my old store and my old friends. I feel like the odd man out, which I suppose is for the best. I have taken on the role of "boss" fairly well, maintaining a distance that I am not used to. I never realized how much work it was going to be... how much was going to be on my shoulders.

(J... if you happen to read this, know how lucky you are! You have a staff of people who care about you and know exactly what is expected of them. You can leave for a month, and they would hold down the fort. My store would probably burn to the ground if I left them for more than a weekend)

Regardless, even with my growing anxiety and apprehension, I am giving it one year of my life. There is a chance (fingers crossed) that once I completely adjust it might become enjoyable again. Change has never been easy for me, but I'm not one to walk out on something I care about.

"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place" - Washington Irving.